5.0
My first plant medicine retreat (5 nights, 3 ceremonies)
The first ceremony was pretty mellow, following suggestions for recommended first dose (1 cup, plus a ½ cup booster later in the night). Some limited purging with visuals similar to a therapeutic psilocybin dose. The second ceremony was much more intense (much stronger visuals), starting with a 1 and ½ first cup, and adding a 2/3 cup booster later in the night. The visuals led to contemplation (but not the experience of) death and then led to many hours of blissful states. Even after the ceremony, I just wanted to stay up and talk with the others about the beautiful night.
For the third ceremony, I decided to start off with a 1 and ¾ cup. A little more, but the medicine didn’t seem any stronger than the previous night…until the icaros started. The signing was incredibly powerful causing me to purge in many ways (vomiting, sweating, nose running, tears, and body movements), and this was paired with more of an experience of dying (though it wasn’t fearful). I kept saying to myself “this is so beautiful.’ I believe the two incredible maestros (brother and sister) were doing their most significant healing on me this night – which led to feelings of much greater connection and far less anxiety (which I was looking for).
The next day, I needed some support trying to understand it all. Soltara had 4 teachers (all incredibly kind, compassionate, and experienced) for our group of 15, which allowed me to talk with one teacher before breakfast, and a different teacher after lunch. That changed everything for me. I went from feeling broken in the morning to feeling so supported and healed by the afternoon. This was my first retreat, and before I thought it was all about the medicine. For me, it was the maestros and teachers that made all the difference. This practice takes an enormous amount of courage and effort. Support is the key.
For the third ceremony, I decided to start off with a 1 and ¾ cup. A little more, but the medicine didn’t seem any stronger than the previous night…until the icaros started. The signing was incredibly powerful causing me to purge in many ways (vomiting, sweating, nose running, tears, and body movements), and this was paired with more of an experience of dying (though it wasn’t fearful). I kept saying to myself “this is so beautiful.’ I believe the two incredible maestros (brother and sister) were doing their most significant healing on me this night – which led to feelings of much greater connection and far less anxiety (which I was looking for).
The next day, I needed some support trying to understand it all. Soltara had 4 teachers (all incredibly kind, compassionate, and experienced) for our group of 15, which allowed me to talk with one teacher before breakfast, and a different teacher after lunch. That changed everything for me. I went from feeling broken in the morning to feeling so supported and healed by the afternoon. This was my first retreat, and before I thought it was all about the medicine. For me, it was the maestros and teachers that made all the difference. This practice takes an enormous amount of courage and effort. Support is the key.