what an experience.....
I spent a considerable amount of time before committing to this. I researched. I deliberated. I nearly booked myself on a flight to the Amazon, convinced that the authentic jungle setting was non-negotiable. What I came to understand, slowly and then all at once, is that the setting matters far less than the people holding the space. That realisation brought me to Ilse and Danilo — and it was the best decision I have made in years. (For what it's worth, the retreat itself is set in an idyllic natural landscape. You will not feel short-changed on that front.)
I will not describe in detail what happened during those days. It would be both futile and, I think, a disservice to you. The reasons that bring each person to ayahuasca are their own. What you feel, what surfaces, what shifts — all of it will be uniquely yours. What I can tell you is that those days felt like one long, immersive dream. No words I reach for do justice to the experience, and I have made my peace with that.
it may be helpful to very briefly share why I went, to underlyine what I came back with.
I had lost myself. A prolonged period in a deeply toxic work environment had hollowed something out in me — layer by layer, quietly and then catastrophically. Insecurity had taken root. Impostor syndrome had become my constant companion. A heaviness had settled in that I had almost stopped noticing, the way you stop noticing a persistent noise until it suddenly disappears. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I came back changed. There is no more precise way to say it. I carry a baseline of positive energy now that feels like my own — like something that was always there, returned to me. I have not stopped smiling. People around me have noticed before I even said a word. I have forgiven people and things and more importantinly i have forgiven myself. I feel strong, confident, and serene in a way I had not felt in years, perhaps ever.
None of that would have been possible without Ilse and Danilo. Their commitment — to the medicine, to the process, and to each guest — is genuine and palpable from the very first moment. Their positive energy is not performed. It is structural. It holds everything together.
If I were to offer one piece of advice to anyone considering this: relinquish control. Let them guide you. Resist the urge to ask too many questions or map out what is coming. It will take a day or two just to understand that time moves differently here, that the rhythm is not yours to set. Surrender to it. Focus inward. Listen to what comes from within you. There will be difficult moments — this is not a gentle or comfortable journey. But it is a real one.
I am glad I went. I am especially glad I went with Ilse and Danilo.
Porchi
Is our little loving and affectionate york-shire dog. He has been with us since 5 weeks of age and evolved therapeutic skills growing up in the environment of retreats and medicines. He is really close to the people and sometimes overwhelming with his kisses. The night sessions he spents outside waiting for us. As soon as we finish, he joins us full of joy and greets everyone. Our participants fall in love with him every time and he is proven to be a great support in our retreats and is mentioned in most of our reviews.