375 Panterkill Road PO Box 70 Phoenicia, NY 12464 United States
Aug 17 - 21, 2026
About this Retreat
Henry Fersko-Weiss is a licensed clinical social worker and a death doula. He has worked with hundreds of dying individuals and their loved ones over a 20-year period. In 2015 he cofounded the International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA). As its Executive Director and President of the Board, he spearheaded its growth into the preeminent organization in the field of end-of-life doulas. At the beginning of 2022l he left the organization to return to serving the dying directly and teaching in a more limited and selective way. His book, Caring for the Dying, The Doula Approach to a Meaningful Death, was selected as a best book of the year in 2017 by the Library Journal. In 2020 the book was reprinted under a new title: Finding Peace at the End of Life. Fersko-Weiss has taught extensively in the U.S. as well as internationally. He has spoken at numerous end-of-life conferences been written about in the New York Times, San Francisco Chronicle, Washington Post and many other print and online publications.
Details of this retreat
This unique retreat draws from two profound traditions, End-of-Life Doulas and Zen Buddhism. They offer different perspectives, but share a deep commitment to exploring fundamental questions: Who are you really? What does it mean to die? and, How do you live—and even die—with a deep sense of meaning?
The end-of-life doula approach carries wisdom that comes from a clear-eyed view of what human life looks like from its final vantage point; what people wish they had known or done sooner, and what matters when almost nothing else does. Zen Buddhism offers a direct inquiry into the nature of the self, mind, and reality using meditative practices as a means to investigate direct experience rather than relying on belief. Together they form a profound way to face the fear of dying, reduce the suffering of attachment, discover how to live a meaning-focused life at any age, and awaken to one’s true nature.
What is the Gateless Gate?
The Gateless Gate refers to a Zen koan collection, the Mumonkan, which literally means a barrier with no real gate. Each koan, or Zen encounter in the Mumonkan, presents a barrier to realizing the true nature of reality because we are stopped from passing through as long as we rely on our intellect rather than experience. Once we see this there are no gates.
In a deeper sense, the gateless gate is the realization that the barriers we think exist between self and other, life and death are an illusion. We actually live in a world where there is no inside nor outside, no relative and absolute. There is only just this. And that is the key to facing impermanence, finding meaning, and discovering our true nature. Of course, the mystery and the focus of this retreat is on what is “just this” and seeing how to live it by actively engaging in the doula approach combined with Zen meditation practice.
Over the four days you will:
Experience guided imagery to face impermanence in your life
Engage in creative activities that reveal the shape of your life and core values
Write legacy letters to yourself and people in your life
Acknowledge and honor losses through journaling with prompts
Work in pairs and small groups with experiential exercises to explore meaning
Practice Zen-style meditation, including koans, to start realizing the nature of mind and self
Use ritual to let go of that which no longer serves you
Take mindful walks in nature, to connect to what is larger than yourself
Offer compassionate presence to fellow participants to support their growth
Have the opportunity to meet with the instructor to receive personal guidance.
At the end of the workshop retreat participants will make personal vows to integrate their insights, discoveries and new found sense of meaning as they go back to inhabiting their lives. They will also commit to continuing their meditation practice at whatever level fits into their goals, responsibilities and style of life. Then, during the next six months two online evening meetings will offer the opportunity to discuss how they are doing with the vows and meditation practice, the obstacles they may have encountered and how to overcome them.
Schedule:
Monday, August 17
3 pm Check In
3:35 - 5:45 pm Afternoon Working Session, Exercises, Nature Meditation, Creative Practices
6 - 7 pm Dinner
7:15 - 7:25 pm Meditation
7:25 - 9:15 pm Evening Session, Exercises & Discussion
9:15 - 10 pm Opportunity for Private Interviews with Teacher (Dokusan)
Tuesday, August 18 - Thursday, August 20
7 - 7:25 am Zazen (Sitting) Meditation
7:25 - 7:40 am Kinhin (Walking) Meditation
8 - 9 Breakfast
9:15 - 10:15 am Morning Teaching Session
10:15 am - 12:15 pm Guided Imagery, Small Group Exercises, Creative Practices
12:30 - 1:30 pm Lunch
1:30 - 3 pm Rest, Journal Time, Personal Practice, Opportunity for Spa Session
3 - 3:25 pm Zazen Meditation
3:25 - 3:35 pm Kinhin Meditation
3:35 - 5:45 pm Afternoon Working Session, Exercises, Nature Meditation, Creative Practices
6 - 7 pm Dinner
7:15 - 7:25 pm Meditation
7:25 - 9:15 pm Evening Session, Exercises & Discussion
9:15 - 10 pm Opportunity for Private Interviews with Teacher (Dokusan)
Friday, August 21
7 - 7:25 am Zazen (Sitting) Meditation
7:25 - 7:40 am Kinhin (Walking) Meditation
8 - 9 Breakfast
9:15 - 10:15 am Morning Teaching Session
10:15 am - 12:15 pm Guided Imagery, Small Group Exercises, Creative Practices
12:30 - 1:30 pm Lunch and Checkout
*Please note this schedule is subject to change.
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