To describe it as life changing would be an understatement.
of 45 years who had been there several months earlier. It was a very simple “I think you would find it a very positive
experience and you may find answers to questions you don’t realize you have”. I was a bit hesitant of the thought at
first but had seen first-hand the very positive results she had achieved and decided to follow her lead to see where it
took me. To describe it as life changing would be an understatement.
What would I want to improve in my life? What answers to what questions am I looking for at this stage of my life? Will I
really get something out of this or will I come back wondering why I went? I pondered these questions over the next
several months and prior to attending. If I was going to attend, I wanted to get the most out of it that I could, so what
did I hope to achieve?
I’m 64 years old and have been in leadership positions since my early years and always felt my self-worth revolved
around completion of tasks or a “job well done”. I’ve never been a good communicator on an emotional level, nor have
I been in touch with my spiritual side. I’ve always struggled with a sense of self, had trouble expressing how I feel and
fully understanding others feelings when shared with me. These topics always made me very uncomfortable so I would
close myself off by avoiding the conversation or shutting down, assuming that if it wasn’t discussed then everything
must be okay. I decided that I wanted to find a way to overcome the emotional blocks I’ve experienced throughout my
life, dig deep to improve communication and get in touch with my spiritual self. I went to the retreat feeling a bit up-
tight and reserved but with the mind-set of “If I’m going to attend, I’m going to trust the process, fully immerse myself in
the experience and see where it takes me”.
Being “off-grid” in the remote Southern Oregon Mountains for a 5 day retreat was the right decision for me. It gave me
the opportunity to unplug from my daily life, focus on myself and immerse myself in the full experience with others who
were attending for their own reasons while allowing me to be there for mine. The well-defined daily schedule of events,
group sessions, quiet time to reflect and look inward, community meals (excellent food by the way…), friendship &
comraderie all fell in place to make the experience more meaningful and one I will never forget.
Having 2 separate psilocybin journeys during the 5 day retreat was very beneficial to me and because of the retreat
format, group sessions, etc. I felt prepared for each of the journeys as they occurred. Having them close together with
the support and guidance of the retreat leaders added to and greatly improved the experience for me. Both journeys
had their place and each had their own message for me; the first being one of facing some internal demons while the
second was finding paths to improve my life. Answers to questions I had prior to attending came in to focus. Questions I
didn’t know I had presented themselves as well, some were answered while others influenced future thought. Some
came during the journeys, others soon after or over the next several days.
I could feel new pathways had opened in my brain & I began to see things differently. I became more aware of and can now more readily express my thoughts & emotions. Prayer, spirituality and looking inward are no longer foreign to me but a comfort I’ve long sought. Meaningful conversations and hard topics are something I now look forward to. Living “in the moment” and being here right now-wherever that “here” is, has become my new normal.
My wife said I came home a different but better person than the one who left. I agree with that statement and am very
thankful to Confluence Retreats for helping me become that person.
I like this version of me, I think I’ll keep it. Read More